Wednesday 29 April 2009

Day 111 – Short and unsatisfying

I am truly awful at lying but I still manage to do it convincingly to you, blog. Maybe it’s because you don’t have a face, or maybe it’s because I just feel so far removed from my (three? four?) readers. But for some reason it’s possible for me to lie to you blatantly. Well, I do it with good intentions. I had so much time on my hands – of course I was going to update about Italy! I should have done it the following day.
Anyway, I’ve been feeling really kind of anxious these past few days. My time here is running out, I’m in the middle of exams, I’m making last minute travel plans, and my bank account is shriveling up faster than the Wicked Witch of the West in a water park. (Sorry if that was cheesy.) I feel like I’m losing control. Things are slipping out of my hands as I’m trying to hold on to them – minutes, memories, essays, and pound notes alike. It’s as though I’m trying to slow down, but everything is speeding up and surging ahead around me, and I’m just caught up in the stampede. We’re stampeding toward the end of this semester and being abroad, yes, towards the summer and home and family and sun and warmth and making money instead of spending it. I’m stampeding toward my 21st birthday. My sister is graduating high school and going to college. I’m going to be a senior. I’m going to be a SENIOR. I was just a senior in high school. They warned me it would fly, whoever they is, and I heeded their warnings. I savoured everything, I captured memories, I didn’t take experiences for granted. But I don’t want it to end. I’m ultimately stampeding towards the unknown. There’s a cliff up ahead that I’ll be parachuting off. It’s like a video game. I’ll have to parachute off and try to land on the ledges below that are marked “Employment” or “Grad School.” I’m on my first and last life though. And I don’t even know what to do with it.
I’m probably being overdramatic but that’s the way I’ve been feeling lately. Ever since that guy who started talking to me in the bar laughed and told me that being an English professor wasn’t a real job. Not that the opinion of a stranger should really matter to me – especially a Portuguese man who insults my life’s plan as his pick up line – but still. It makes me remember the hairdresser who, after engaging in the obligatory small talk with me, said “a professor? Why the heck would you wanna do that?” And I had no answer. Just because there’s nothing else. What else is there to do? What else could I be? What do I want? Where do I want to end up? What am I doing with my life?
Well this is overall a really emo and self-pity infested post but maybe I should just post it before I forget and/or get sidetracked. I will update about Italy, hopefully soon, maybe tomorrow, or maybe after my last two tests are done next week. And I will tell you about my goings on since Italy. But I will warn you in an attempt to be completely honest. The next 45 days are going to fly. And in my attempt to keep up with them, I may leave you behind.
Realistically/Idealistically conflictedly yours,
Amanda

Thursday 9 April 2009

Day 90 – The Sparknotes version of my March 2009

Wow. I cannot believe it has been over a month since I updated. Fourty days and fourty nights – maybe I can excuse my lack of posts by saying that I gave up blogging for Lent?? Time is flying by – I can’t believe I am a week into April already! And I am very sorry that I havent been keeping up with my blogging. Between traveling, fleeting romances, and coursework, March flew by and every time I started to update, something else would capture my attention before I could devote enough time for an entry. “Update Blog” has been on my dry-erase to-do list for a month now and far too much has happened for me to put it off any longer. Even if I am sitting here until 6am, I will update you on my life. Perhaps it won’t be as detailed as previous entries have been (I’m sure you are thankful for that) but I will do my best to summarize the goings-on that have taken me away from blogging.

Let’s see... where to begin... The first week of March I was concerned about preparing for my Paris trip March 6-8 and thus had to find a camera since mine had broken at Fabric the week before. I ended up settling on going to Paris without a working flash and my parents bought one in the States and sent it to me after the trip, since it wasn’t worth it to buy a new one for the prices they were being sold here in the UK. I also went to see Hairspray with the Social Programme, which was really good and really funny! Although I think I like the movie better. I also met up with a guy and went out for some drinks. We really hit it off and ended up wandering the streets of London for a while, and I had a lot of fun.
On Friday March 6, Joy, Hayley and I ventured to Paris! Joy and I were rooming together, and we ended up hanging out with Hayley’s roommate the whole trip too, who was ironically enough also named Hayley, an Australian studying abroad. We took the Eurostar into Garre de Nord and then got on a coach for a sightseeing tour with out Paris tour guide Laurent, or “Larry from Pari” haha. He was an excellent tour guide, and in our first hours in Paris we got to see Place de la Concord,



Champs-Elysees and Arc de Triomphe,


Eiffel Tower,



Les Invalides (where Napolean is buried),


the Louvre,



and the Bastille (which our hotel was near).


After settling into our rooms, the four of us went exploring, armed with maps and snippets of half-remembered high school French. We headed to the Louvre, which turned out to be a very long walk, and I got a toasted brioche and nutella sandwich on the way – I ate more nutella that weekend than I have in my whole life I think, but it is so delicious! It’s like a food group there! Laurent had told us that the Louvre was free on Friday nights after 6pm for under 26 year olds, so we were able to go in and follow the mass exodus of people to the Mona Lisa and then to the Venus de Milo. Photography was surprisingly allowed, and we saw a lot of other art in between, including Winged Victory, but we were tired from our long day and all of it started to blur together. The Mona Lisa was such a small little frame on a huge wall, and the room it was in was full of other artwork that was somehow deemed less worthy of viewing. Everyone was clamoring into the roped queue to snap a picture of her, to prove that they had seen her. But everyone’s seen the Mona Lisa a million times – she’s everywhere! – and she doesn’t look any different in person. It was the same with the Rosetta Stone – no one was really taking the time to appreciate the piece, they were just pointing and snapping to prove they were there. I know I am guilty of it too, but it just seemed so...superficial.


This is a picture of the crowd of people taking pictures of the Mona Lisa, reminiscent of that scene in The Sixth Sense when all of the parents in the audience of the school play put up their video cameras to film it. For the record, she is smiling. We went to the Latin Quarter for dinner and then headed back to the hotel to collapse into our pillows. (The beds were exceptionally comfortable and I slept like a rock.)
Saturday we woke up and went to breakfast, which was included in the hotel stay. They had a plethora of croissants, fruits, breads and of course, nutella, so we stocked up and wrapped food in napkins to bring with us for lunch. We began our walking tour of Marais, and we got to see a lot of very old buildings in the neighborhood our hotel was a part of.


The tour ended at Notre Dame, and we were able to go in for free.



For the most part the atmosphere inside was reverent, but there was a service going on despite the tourists walking around the perimeter of the church, and the sanctity was somewhat compromised by souvenir stands and Press-A-Penny machines in the church. It was still amazing to be inside the cathedral, and I was in awe of the rose windows.


They are made of the original stained glass, which was carefully numbered and taken down during World War II so that it wouldn’t get damaged. We did some souvenir shopping on the street next to Notre Dame and ate lunch in the gardens behind it, near the flying buttresses.



I really think “The Flying Buttresses” would be a great name for a band. Then we took the Metro to the Eiffel Tower, and went up to “Le deuxieme etage” or the second level.




We could have gone up to the third level, at the very tippy-top of the tower, but the view from where we were was absolutely incredible and I was not very anxious to add more height.


All of Paris was before us and its white buildings stretched as far as the eye could see. It will be even prettier when I go in May because the trees were not in bloom yet, and all of the park spaces were that dull brown-gray that large groups of bare trees always are. It was beautiful, though, and no pictures can really capture the view (although I tried valiantly to do so). Reluctantly, we came down from the Eiffel Tower and started walking towards the Arc de Triomphe (another very long walk) and when we got there we sat for a while watching the free-for-all traffic in the Place de l’Etoile surrounding the Arc, and then we walked down Les Champs-Elysees!


I was humming the song the entire trip. It was actually kind of disappointing – there wasn’t that much good shopping down the street – lots of big names like Louis Vuitton (we went into the 5-story store that was there) but nothing I could really afford, and nothing that was really specifically French.


After that our shopping craving hadn’t really been fulfilled so we took the Metro to Les Galeries Lafayette – the biggest department store I have ever been in. It spanned both sides of the street – one building was the main building, and the other one was Les Galeries Lafayette Homme (men). It was the size of a mall and it was only one store! This is the ceiling.


It was all “tres cher” stuff there but I managed to find the cheap jewelry section and bought myself a chunky ring for 7 or 8 Euro. We were all pretty worn out and cranky after our long day, but we quickly felt rejuvenated after we ate at an Italian place – French Italian, perhaps Fritalian? (Starbucks commercial, anyone?) When we got back to the hotel after that we had every intention of going out, but we realized we were too tired to fathom getting dressed up and instead went on a hunt for cheap French wine (which tasted as expensive as it was) and talked before bed.
Sunday morning it was raining, but we still managed to check out the fresh market that was right outside our hotel, and we got fresh crepes and nutella – yummO!


We got all of our luggage packed up and ready to take on the Eurostar back to London later that day, and then we took the tube to Montmarte and saw Moulin Rouge, which means red windmill, and explored the area.


Which was full of sex shops.


Then Laurent showed up and gave us a tour of the hill of Montmarte, which is a cute artistic area full of little cafes and aspiring artists. He took us winding our way up the hill, and on the way I saw where Van Gogh and Picasso lived, and we had a beautiful view overlooking Paris when we got to the top.



The Sacre-Coeur was magnificent and the whole area was lovely.


We headed back to the hotel, and I got my last pain au chocolat before we headed back to London. It was so nice to be back, even though it had only been 3 days, and I really felt that I could call London home. Getting back to Baker St. felt like coming back home. It’s a nice feeling.

After the Paris trip, my thoughts were preoccupied with the aforementioned budding romance, but after the magic of a second date, a first kiss, and a night out together faded, it became clear that the fairytale was nothing more than a fling. It was fun for a while, but quickly became forced and wasn’t enjoyable for either of us. I don’t regret it at all, because it was a good learning experience, but it is kind of sad that something that seemed to have so much potential has amounted to little more than a wince and small smile at a memory for me. But life goes on, and the whole experience really made me think about my relationships, and to appreciate what I have with Richard. I had been ignoring how much I missed him, a self-protection method surely, but I realized how much he meant to me and how it wasn’t worth losing him because of the distance. I really can’t wait to see him again and I am looking forward to next year at Marist. Speaking of next year at Marist, I chose the classes for my second-to-last semester of undergrad! Since NOT getting into these classes is not an option if I want to graduate on time, I’m just going to assume that I have them all: Honors Edith Wharton, Honors Ethics, English Capping, Abstract Algebra, and Probability/Statistics. Blagh. Another rough fall semester, coming right up! But it will be good because if all goes according to plan (::crosses fingers::) we will be living in Lower Fulton with Jess Link and Lauren, and Valerie is also staying an extra semester as well! So it will be 518 + Jess and Lauren, which will be super fun and I am so excited for it!

Anyway, what else happened in March?? It was my sister Christina’s 15th birthday (ahh I feel so old!) and I sent her a purse I had gotten her in Paris. I wanted to be there but she and Jessica were busy because it was the week of the high school’s musical (sans Zac Efron). I really miss my family (and my cats!!).
We took our final Social Programme trip to York and the North of England, and I was away from the city for the first time since January! It was lovely to explore York (which included climbing a 275-step spiral staircase to the top of York Minster Cathedral) and to be in the countryside. This is York Minster.


Fountains Abbey was gorgeous and we had beautiful weather – we could even walk around without our jackets!


We finished the trip in Haworth, where the Bronte sisters lived, and Joy and I had delicious cream tea before the long coach ride back to London.



St. Patrick’s Day was fun! I proudly put on my bright green shirt and green converse and refrained from painting shamrocks on my cheeks before I went to class, and it’s a good thing because NO ONE else was wearing green!! The only other people I saw wearing green were other Americans in my classes. I guess it’s not that big of a deal here. Thankfully when Hayley, Joy, Verity, and I went out to O’Neill’s that night, everyone was wearing green. We waited a long time in line but we met two Irish guys while we were waiting. They were from Belfast and I could have listened to them talk forever. We ended up seeing them again when we were inside and I danced the night away with them. They were playing an odd mix of hip hop, techno, and fiddle, and every so often a traditional Irish song would come on and everyone would stop grinding and jig. It was pretty amazing and I had so much fun. The highlight of my night was probably when a creepy guy came over and put his hand on the back of my neck and said “You’re from New Jersey, right?” (he must have overheard me in line since he was behind the Irish guys) and I mouthed the word “H-E-L-P” to my friends and Verity said “Excuse me, that’s my girlfriend.” He looked mortified and apologized and left. Whew. Crisis averted.
Valerie came to visit London as well! She stayed with the other Marist kids at their flat and we all met up to go out for some drinks Friday night. Turns out they decided to go to the Hilton at Hyde Park, to the Penthouse Restaurant. We all were mortified at how fancy it was, and we ate lightly, buying the cheapest bottles of wine and having only one course of food each. We exceeded our expectations and disappointed the staff’s with our bill of £308. I had bread, water, one glass of white wine and half of a dessert featuring real edible gold and dark chocolate, and I managed to come in at only £15. I also opted not to spend £12.75 on a cocktail at the Penthouse Bar. It may have been expensive, but it was still fun. Then I hung out with Valerie and Mike on Sunday, and we went to high tea at Harrods, which was also expensive but fun and definitely worth it. They offered free refills of the finger sandwiches, scones, and pastries that came with our tea but we were so stuffed that we didn’t even need any. I discovered that I really like Jasmine Tea! I have never liked tea before in my life, but who knows?! Maybe breathing in the London air has done more than pollute my lungs – maybe the tea-loving atmosphere has finally gotten to me! In any case, the tea was definitely worth the £21, and we walked through Kensington Gardens and hung out at the FIE flat for a while before we headed to Brick Lane to get Indian for dinner. It was great to see Valerie and to hang out with the Marist kids (they leave so soon!!) but I had coursework on the brain since the following week was Week 10. I had two essays due, and despite struggling with the word limit (2300 words for a 1500 max paper) and the printers I managed to turn everything in on time. Hayley, Joy and I celebrated the end of classes with some Pizza Hut, but it was quite sad because Hayley is staying at home now, except for finals and of course visiting us. Hopefully we can go visit her too – an actual British house! And she has a million and a half pets, including a tortoise named Gerty! How cute! Rachel, Beth, Joy and I went out to eat at The Shakespeare pub near Victoria and it was really nice, but it was also kind of sad, since we were all going our separate directions. Rachel’s mom was coming to visit, Beth was going on a 3 week tour of Europe, Joy was going to Germany, and I was going to Italy. It was weird to say goodbye, but at least we still have two months (is that all?? ack!) before we have to say goodbye for real.

Other March happenings? Joy and I booked our Ireland trip – June 4-7, right before we come back to the States! I am super excited though because there is a 3 day tour of the Southern countryside and County Kerry (my homeland!) that we will probably be able to squeeze in. Our flights only cost £5 each way (so naturally the total Ryanair bill came to £59) and we still need to book the buses to and from Stansted and our hostel there. Other than Paris May 16-19, (and Stonehenge/Bath at some point) that will be the only trip I have left to take.
My sister got into UPenn! We were waiting forever for all 10 colleges she applied to to make up their minds, but after being rejected and waitlisted and discouraged, she got in to her dream school! She is still deciding between that and BU but I am so proud of her and happy for her and I’m going to brag about her a lot. =)

All right I think I have pretty much caught you up on March. I will post about my trip to Italy separately, but let’s just say that I had 697 pictures from the trip, so you can guarantee it will be a lengthy post.

Well it only took me until 4am, or maybe 4:30 once I get the pictures in there. I guess now it is technically Day 91, but oh well. My time here is coming to a close, and I am digging my heels in as time drags me toward June 13. It’s not that I don’t want to go back, because I do and I miss everyone from home. But I just can’t imagine NOT being here. I’ve grown very attached to this city, and I do feel like it is my home now.

Until soon,
Buena notte,
Amanda